Posted by
Johnny Anags on Monday, November 02, 2009 7:05:46 PM
Last night I criticized the government’s new health care proposal. I woke up this morning and discovered that I must be a racist. I’m a racist because I don’t think citizens of another country should be given amnesty in the U.S. because they hopped over to Texas and popped out a baby. I’m also a racist because I don’t think alleged terrorists should be given the same legal rights as Americans. Oh smite me! Not to mention, I am a racist pig for opposing affirmative action. This surely must mean I hate black people. That is right. I said black, not “African-American.” I am the Czar of Racism.
Just in case any politically correct progressives are reading, let me state that I am writing in a sarcastic tone. It saddens me that I actually have to state such an obvious point or risk a crowd of people up in arms condemning me for being the spawn of Satan.
Why am I a racist for calling someone black and not African-American? What if that person is from Jamaica, is that not racist in itself for assuming someone black must be from Africa? This is like calling someone Chinese Japanese because they both are Asian. Doesn’t all of mankind originate from Africa? Are we all African-Americans?
I bring this up because I am angry. I’m twenty-three years old, I am not a racist. I simply view Americans as Americans. Not African-Americans, not Asian-Americans, not Mexican-Americans. Just American. I am sick of being called a racist because I don’t support massive government welfare programs. What have these programs done for the black community over the decades anyway? I believe my fellow black twenty-three year old American is just as capable of doing and achieving any and everything I can. And he can do it by himself. The people who hand out the welfare checks are the ones who believe that blacks are inferior to them and need help. They don’t believe minorities can do it on their own. They are the racists, not me. I believe in the power and ability of you, just you. I know this of all Americans. We don’t need the governments stinkin’ help.
So stop calling me a racist for questioning gigantic government programs that rob from the children of the children of the wife I don’t even have yet. I am criticizing the programs, not the man promoting them. We need to start taking personal responsibility for our actions. The answer is that simple. We are far smarter than the out of touch crooks inside the beltway that perpetuate claims of racism to avoid having to deal with actual problems or answer real questions. We can do it without them.
Darn I forgot. I’m also a “racist” because I think it is utterly preposterous that a baby seal should be able to sue me in court. God I am such a jerk…